Dear fellow writers:
This Easter Sunday, the Twitterverse was inundated with backlash over the #amazonfail, which, if you’ve been living under a rock, is a “glitch” (Amazon’s term) that removed books with LGBT themes from their rankings and filed them under adult content. Basically, they’re saying if you’re looking for a book, you’d be better off handing pornstar Ron Jeremy’s biography to your child than the picture book Heather Has Two Mommies. Yes, this is terrible. Yes, I feel it’s appalling. Even worse is the BIG PICTURE.
Clearly, this is an evil plot by Amazon to STOP ALL WRITERS FROM WRITING. That’s right people, Amazon is plotting to kill the future of literature. Take a look at the number of livejournals, twitter posts and other mentions of #amazonfail made on writing blogs. That’s not even taking into account the time spent hitting refresh for the latest. How many collective writing hours were lost? How many story ideas were pushed to the back burner, only to be forgotten in light of the news that #amazonfail made EW?? (no seriously, check out the link here!) And it’s not just the writers… Agents didn’t get around to reading query letters. Editors pushed aside the latest submission, eagerly watching the rise of the googlebomb as hatched by Smart Bitches, Trashy Books!
Sure, it seems innocent now. Fighting the good fight, standing up for what one believes in. But what happens in three months, when authors don’t have their next novel ready by deadline. Publishing dates will be pushed back. If you’re on submission, by the time your agent gets around to sending out your novel, editors will have already found that “book we’ve just purchased that would be a competing title so regretfully we must pass.” A book written by someone NOT watching the #amazonfail…a supporter of the Man (or Woman…or two women, or two men). Pretty soon, all supporters of #amazonfail will be back on the Ramen, wondering where it all went wrong. Soon, it’ll come down to feeding the kids or shutting off the internet. No more interwebs means no more voice. It’ll only be a matter of time before any resistance loses steam and the evil that is the Amazon ranking system takes over . Ah, the power of distraction to decimate those against you….well played, Amazon.
(Clearly this is satire…but seriously people, WRITE! I’m waiting to buy your books Amazon Ranking or no!)